This week’s scoop-
This week Senate officials granted Roland Burris the Illinois Senate seat vacated by President-Elect Barack Obama. Many were surprised at the move because of the opposition Burris faced in previous weeks. The objections were not about Burris as the candidate, but rather about the choice coming from contentious Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. The Governor has been charged with several crimes related to attempting to sell the Senate seat. At the start of the New Year, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said that Burris would not be allowed in the Senate because of questions related to the scandal. Luckily for Burris, Reid and the rest of the Senate broke their resolution as do most Americans, by the middle of January. It is reported that the Senators not only confirmed Burris, but did so while eating cheeseburgers, chain smoking, and downing splits of Jack Daniels.
Smoking is not allowed on Commerical US flights anymore, but US Airways flight 1549 still got its share of smoke. The plane left LaGuardia airport on Thursday, and was headed for Charlotte, NC when a strange turn of events took place. Five minutes after take-off, the plane was struck by a large group of Canadian geese that caused the plane’s engines to fail. Luckily for passengers, the pilot of their plane was Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger . Sully is a 58 year old former fighter pilot who thought quick on his feet. He managed to bring the plane safely and gently into the Hudson river with no one harmed. The airline industry was glad to hear about this act of heroism since their New Year’s resolution was to get passengers comfortably to their destinations. I have just been corrected…the airlines’ resolution was just to get passengers to their destinations. Oh well, at least they made it to the middle of January.
One New Yorker who can’t fly anywhere is Bernie Madoff. The former investment guru, who is now being charged with running one of the largest Ponzi schemes in history, is under house arrest. Madoff made headlines again this week, when lawyers for the clients he defrauded tried to have him thrown in jail. Attorneys felt that Madoff had broken the requirements of his house arrest by trying to mail millions of dollars in jewelry and gifts to family members. Apparently, when Madoff was asked about the mailings, he said that he just couldn’t stick to his New Year’s resolution to not be an a**hole. It is rumored that Ann Coulter tried to come to Madoff’s defense by saying she couldn’t stick to that resolution either.
The victim of a crash in Palm Beach County, FL was not as lucky as the US Airways’ passengers. Louise Davidson, 77, was arrested Thursday for leaving the scene of a crime after crashing her car into a man on a scooter. Allegedly, the women hit the man on the scooter and kept driving so she wouldn’t miss her hair appointment. When the woman was asked why she kept going she was almost too distraught to answer because she too had broken her resolutions. Apparently her New Year’s resolutions were to not have blue old lady hair, and to be a better driver. Oh well, there’s always next year. Until then enjoy your cheeseburgers, cigarettes, Jack Daniels, bad flights, being an a**hole, bad hair and bad driving. It sounds like it is going to be a great year!
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