This week’s scoop-
This week, Americans heard President Obama say three words they have not heard in at least eight years from a president, “I screwed up”. President Barack Obama announced this to the media after two of his cabinet nominees had to withdraw because of tax problems. Obama’s nominee for Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle, withdrew on Tuesday after tax problems relating to his personal driver put his appointment at risk. President Obama is hoping that since he admitted to making a mistake, he can put the spotlight back on more positive things such as the upcoming stimulus package, what a good looking first family we have, and the fact that our new Vice President hasn’t shot anyone in the face.
Former Microsoft CEO Bill Gates made headlines this week for an unorthodox technique he used to put the spotlight on the malaria epidemic in many third world countries. The billionaire philanthropist unleashed a jar of mosquitoes on an unsuspecting audience attending a technology conference in California. After releasing the mosquitoes, Mr. Gates said ‘Malaria is spread by mosquitoes…I brought some. Here, I’ll let them roam around – there is no reason only poor people should be infected.’ What was unclear to most people who heard this story was why this made headlines. After all, much of Bill Gate’s career has been spent releasing “bugs” to the general population.
The spotlight was on career gold-medalist Michael Phelps this week, after pictures of him smoking weed from a bong were released to the news media. The all-American athlete’s clean cut image took a serious blow after the pictures surfaced. Consequently, the Olympian has been suspended from swimming with the US team for three months, and also lost a lucrative endorsement deal with Kellogs’. Many believe that the Kellogs’ endorsement may only be the first of many endorsement he could lose. On the bright side, it is rumored that the potato chip, blacklight, and incense industries are very interested in offering Phelps endorsement deals.
Finally, it seems as though Phelps isn’t the only one with cannibis problems. A UK milkman was arrested this week on charges of dealing marijuana. Allegedly the delivery man was leaving more than just milk on his customers’ doorsteps. In fact, the 72 year old delivery man said he was only delivering marijuana to elderly customers who were using it to help with aches and pains related to aging. Luckily, he was only sentenced to 36 months of probation for his crimes. This just in…it is rumored that Michael Phelps may be considering an endorsement deal for the UK milk industry.
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Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
2 Minute Scoop-February 2, 2009
This week’s scoop-
This week most Americans were gearing up for Super Bowl XLIII. The Arizona Cardinals will be facing the Pittsburgh Steelers in this year’s match up. Traditionally, the Super Bowl is a time when most people set aside what is going on in the world to focus on the true national pastimes of watching sports, eating junk food, and drinking yourself under the sofa. The economic woes put a bit of a damper on some people’s festivities this year. Increased sales of cheaper beer and even cheaper advertising proved to be clear indicators of the state of the economy. MillerCoors decided to combine the two and take cheap advertising to new lows with a one second beer commercial. You may be asking yourself, what could they possibly put in a one second commercial? Well, it is rumored that the commercial will feature a game watcher passed out on the sofa, beer in one hand, hot wings in the other with the caption “BEER GOOD”. Sounds like great advertising to me, and a steal at only $100,000 a second. Who says American companies don’t know how to spend their money wisely.
Although the Super Bowl occupied most people’s thoughts this week, Americans were also very interested in newly elected President Barack Obama’s first full week in office. President Obama spent much of the week undoing much of what his predecessor George W. Bush had put in place. President Obama changed the “jackets required” policy at the White House, put in orders to close “Gitmo” before the end of 2009, and imposed a requirement for all his staff to know how to say the word “nuclear”.
Former President George W. Bush spent his first week back as a civilian at his Crawford Texas Ranch. Although it was where he spent most of his presidency, apparently W was still happy to be back at the “Western White House”. The forty-third President reportedly spent most of his week getting back into the swing of things by cutting down brush, riding his horses, and putting up a big banner in front that said “Mission Accomplished…Mostly”. Former Vice President Dick Chaney was also happy to be back in Texas. He kicked off his first civilian week by lobbying for Halliburton, shooting a friend in the face, and putting himself in charge of the Western White House.
Finally this week, the ongoing corruption scandal regarding Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich took an expected turn. In a unanimous decision the Illinois State Senate voted to impeach the Governor and ban him from ever holding public office in the state. Although this was a surprise to no one, the Governor spent the days before the hearings on a media blitz to try and rescue his position. Apparently the Governor could not be reached for comment after the impeachment hearings because he had decided drown his sorrows in hot sauce at the Philadelphia Chicken Wing Bowl. The Philly Wing Bowl is an annual event where contestants try to down as many chicken wings as possible in 20 minutes. Apparently last year’s winner downed impressive 157 hot wings, but it was no match for the Governor who was rumored to have gulped down an astonishing 203 “nu-cu-lar” wings. Unfortunately, the newly civilian Governor’s win was short lived when he was disqualified an hour after the contest for selling his chicken crown to the highest bidder. When asked to comment he said “MONEY GOOD”.
http://2minutescoop.blogspot.com/
***If you like reading the SCOOP, please tell your friends***
This week most Americans were gearing up for Super Bowl XLIII. The Arizona Cardinals will be facing the Pittsburgh Steelers in this year’s match up. Traditionally, the Super Bowl is a time when most people set aside what is going on in the world to focus on the true national pastimes of watching sports, eating junk food, and drinking yourself under the sofa. The economic woes put a bit of a damper on some people’s festivities this year. Increased sales of cheaper beer and even cheaper advertising proved to be clear indicators of the state of the economy. MillerCoors decided to combine the two and take cheap advertising to new lows with a one second beer commercial. You may be asking yourself, what could they possibly put in a one second commercial? Well, it is rumored that the commercial will feature a game watcher passed out on the sofa, beer in one hand, hot wings in the other with the caption “BEER GOOD”. Sounds like great advertising to me, and a steal at only $100,000 a second. Who says American companies don’t know how to spend their money wisely.
Although the Super Bowl occupied most people’s thoughts this week, Americans were also very interested in newly elected President Barack Obama’s first full week in office. President Obama spent much of the week undoing much of what his predecessor George W. Bush had put in place. President Obama changed the “jackets required” policy at the White House, put in orders to close “Gitmo” before the end of 2009, and imposed a requirement for all his staff to know how to say the word “nuclear”.
Former President George W. Bush spent his first week back as a civilian at his Crawford Texas Ranch. Although it was where he spent most of his presidency, apparently W was still happy to be back at the “Western White House”. The forty-third President reportedly spent most of his week getting back into the swing of things by cutting down brush, riding his horses, and putting up a big banner in front that said “Mission Accomplished…Mostly”. Former Vice President Dick Chaney was also happy to be back in Texas. He kicked off his first civilian week by lobbying for Halliburton, shooting a friend in the face, and putting himself in charge of the Western White House.
Finally this week, the ongoing corruption scandal regarding Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich took an expected turn. In a unanimous decision the Illinois State Senate voted to impeach the Governor and ban him from ever holding public office in the state. Although this was a surprise to no one, the Governor spent the days before the hearings on a media blitz to try and rescue his position. Apparently the Governor could not be reached for comment after the impeachment hearings because he had decided drown his sorrows in hot sauce at the Philadelphia Chicken Wing Bowl. The Philly Wing Bowl is an annual event where contestants try to down as many chicken wings as possible in 20 minutes. Apparently last year’s winner downed impressive 157 hot wings, but it was no match for the Governor who was rumored to have gulped down an astonishing 203 “nu-cu-lar” wings. Unfortunately, the newly civilian Governor’s win was short lived when he was disqualified an hour after the contest for selling his chicken crown to the highest bidder. When asked to comment he said “MONEY GOOD”.
http://2minutescoop.blogspot.com/
***If you like reading the SCOOP, please tell your friends***
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